Diary of the Dumped™ Day 4: Is Love a Sport?

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Diary of the Dumped™ Day 5: Memory Remaking
July 9, 2010


July 8, 2010


Today, just three short hours ago, on national television, Lebron James publicly broke up with Cleveland and introduced his new girlfriend, Miami.


There’s so much to say here and, given that this feels like my second break up in one short yet eventful week, I hate to say it – but I saw both coming.


I watched most of the final Cavs playoff games with the ex and we were both so frustrated by Lebron giving up and quitting on himself, the team and the city in games 4, 5 and 6 of the Cavs / Celtics series. This was also about the time that the ex became more involved in coaching his daughter’s softball team and less connected to us. Watching all those games, during that time, was like stress added to stress. My stomach double-hurt as my gut, soul, internal spirit, whatever you want call that instinct that rings your sensory antennas full blast, screamed at me: “This man just isn’t all that into it and he’s ready to leave.” At the time, I had little idea that it would be both men – the man who I watched, live, at the arena, and respected for seven seasons and the man with whom I shared my heart and my bed for several months. Both got inside me. Both penetrated the psyche.  Neither wanted to stay.


Today I looked at the ex’s Facebook profile one last time and then hit the “block” button to make it more difficult for me to see what he’s up to. Now, even if I type his name into the search area, it won’t come up. And, in case you care, today he was asking his Facebook friends the details of his 20th high school reunion. As if to say, “Where else can I meet more women with whom I can have casual relations?”


Today, Lebron James, in sports’ history biggest masturbatory self-indulgence announced that he’s joined the Heat. I didn’t bother to watch the announcement nor the self-involved special preceding it. I was in the car, driving home from a good friend’s house and relied on Facebook to give me the news.


Today, disloyalty hit an all time peak and both men should be happy that Michael Carleone isn’t their brother.  Because, this week, both men pulled a Fredo.


But, not to worry, as my good friend Jessica once wisely told me “Karma is a much bigger bitch than I am.”


After today’s announcement, I posted this next comment:

“When any toxic relationship ends, it opens doors and makes room for something more life-giving and real. Cleveland, you are awesome. Now, focus on yourself.”


Oh, and one more message, one that is my single greatest lesson of the week:


“You learn the true character of a man not on how he starts any relationship, but on how he ends it.”


Good bye, dear men. You have both put me through a very volatile May and June and early July. It’s finally time for me to enjoy the sunshine. Hope your balls keep you warm at night.


“Is Love a Sport?” is part of series of daily reflections included in  “Diary of the Dumped: 30 Days from Break Up to Breakthrough.”

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